Comedy and Politics...

I've always found that there are different standards when it comes to politicians, the media or really anyone that isn't a comedian telling a joke. I laugh at jokes Obama or Bush tell, but I would spit on a comic telling the same jokes. At last night's White House Correspondence Dinner, Obama said, 'Dick Cheney was supposed to be here but he's very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled, 'How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People.' I chuckled at that because the President isn't a comedian and he's playing along with the little Presidential comedy routine good-naturedly. I guess it's the same thing as when your dad throws out a punny knee-slapper like 'how can a door be a jar?' or 'my friends think I'm a mushroom...you know, a real fun-guy.' Or, I guess it's like giving your dog a treat for sitting down. It's not that fucking impressive, but dogs are stupid and dads and Presidents are generally unfunny, so we give them an A for effort.

Now, when you get a comedian telling political jokes, it can become legitimately funny. The only problem is that once funny things begin to be said, politicians panic and don't want to offend anyone. Even if they think it's funny, they have to try to distance themselves from the whole situation. If I say, 'Go fuck yourself. Just kidding!', everyone is in agreement that I don't really want you to go fuck yourself (even though I do, sincerely, just kidding!). When a comedian speaks, we should be operating under the assumption that everything that person says, is a fucking joke.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because there are two stories in the news today about 'tasteless' jokes and all the fake outrage about them. Wanda Sykes, who I hate and rarely find even slightly amusing, spoke at the White House Correspondence Dinner yesterday. She addressed the fact that Rush Limbaugh said he hopes Obama's policies fail. She then said,"So you're saying, 'I hope America fails' you're like, 'I don't care about people losing their homes, their jobs, our soldiers in Iraq' He just wants the country to fail. To me, that's treason." Poor Wanda is too busy thinking about vaginas to use reason. After that she said, 'He's not saying anything different than what Osama bin Laden is saying.' No, no joke yet, don't be alarmed. Wanda is simply trying to win the 'longest and least funny set up to a semi-funny joke in the world' contest. Here it is folks, the moment you've all been waiting for, the punchline, 'You know, you might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good water boarding, that's what he needs.'

I'll give you all a moment to pick yourselves up off the floor, you're no doubt rolling around in hysterics. It was sort of a funny line, the long meandering path she took to get to there was a little unorthodox, but so what. And Obama laughed. Who gives a shit? It's another inconsequential side item for everyone to get up in arms about instead of paying attention to things that really matter. Today, the White House, amid major public outcry, said, '9/11 is a topic better left for serious reflection than comedy.' I really hope Wanda Sykes does not apologize for it.

That brings me to the next attempt at humor that is drawing criticism. David Feherty is some Irish guy who used to golf and now lives in Dallas, writes for a shitty Dallas magazine and whispers about putters and seven woods for CBS Sports. It is said that he is known for his wit. I'll never understand how you can say anything witty during golf coverage, but he manages to do it. He was writing an article for D Magazine about George W. Bush moving to Dallas. The tone of the article was obviously comedic, and in the article he said, 'From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this though, despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden would be strangled to death.' Apparently this is an old cliched joke, a mad lib for whatever people are hated at the moment. That joke has been removed from the article online, Feherty has apologized and the PGA and CBS have roundly bashed him. Again, who gives a shit? It's no amazing revelation that people dislike Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, just like it's no surprise people hate Rush Limbaugh.

The only problem I have with this is that one person is receiving more widespread criticism than the other. Can you guess who that might be? If you said the middle-aged white guy making fun of Democrats, give yourself a gold star. If you said the black lesbian who was making fun of a middle-aged white guy, you're the dumbest person on the internets and you should seriously consider suicide. Of course Hannity and Beck were railing on Sykes for this, I didn't get a chance to hear any of Rush's show today. Other than those few hosts, I'm not hearing much. Obviously the Conservatives are squawking about it, but no major news outlet has expressed their outrage. The New York Daily News says that while Feherty shouldn't get a free pass, Sykes shouldn't either. It noted the double standard, as I have, but they're going the opposite direction with it. I think they should both get a free pass. There were no threats made, no creepy notes written with letters cut out of a magazine. They were just jokes, and I really don't think anyone should get in trouble for telling them. If they're not funny, the market will dictate how long the person stays around. Wanda Sykes is about as famous as you can get, so apparently people like her brand of humor. David Feherty, well I have no clue who the fuck he is, but I bet my dad does, and I bet he loves his biting golf wit. Shut the fuck up with the phony outrage over words with no intent behind them. Sure, there may be meanness, but just about everything I say is mean spirited and I wouldn't hurt a fly...well maybe a fly. I wouldn't kill a puppy, that's for damn sure.

Addendum: After having listened to all of Wanda Sykes' appearance at the correspondence dinner, I have to say that it was funny as fuck, aside the aforementioned part, which I still think was poorly set up but still a bit funny. She's got balls, I'll give her that, even though she wouldn't take them if they were dipped in gold.