What Concerns Me...

Is apparently quite different than what concerns the media. Stories (I use the term very loosely) on Drudge include one about a hotel quarantine in Hong Kong, one that warns of the higher risk of swine flu infection in HIV patients and expresses concern about what would happen if the swine flu were to combine with HIV, and what is undoubtedly an adventure in investigatory journalism, dealing mainly with the cost of Michelle Obama's tennis shoes. Before you stock up on canned goods, bottled water and various other non-perishables,take a second to let me ease your troubles.

In regards to the Hong Kong quarantine, let me remind you that China is a nutty communist country. They kept 300 people locked in a hotel for seven days because of one Mexican guy who tested positive for the swine flu. I wouldn't read that much into the actions of a country whose record includes gems like infanticide, arms sales to Sudan and Tiananmen Square. Any reporting done on this quarantine should be limited to poking fun at the silly, reactionary Chinese. In short, don't expect to be forcibly locked up in a hotel for a few weeks just because it happened in Hong Kong. Feeling better yet?

The next terrifying story, courtesy of the WHO, informs its readers that HIV patients are at a higher risk from swine flu and that it sure would be shitty if HIV and the swine flu had viral sex, resulting in what we've all been fearing...PIG AIDS! Perhaps the WHO isn't aware that 'HIV' is actually an acronym for 'Human Immunodeficiency Virus'. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that a person with a deficient immune system if at a higher risk for everything. Now, I don't know anyone with HIV, but I would be willing to wager that they're aware of the fact that they need to take higher precautions when it comes to any type of illness. This part of the story doesn't necessarily concern me, I just view it as wasted space. Their next revelation, from which the Drudge Report headline is taken, is one that doesn't surprise me, just further lowers my already drowning faith in the media in any capacity. Imagine reading this, 'WHO fears complications if HIV and H1N1 viruses combine...' Holy shit! That could happen?! Well, the WHO is there for you, oh worried reader, with vague and confusing information. "Although there are inadequate data to predict the impact of a possible human influenza pandemic on HIV-affected populations, interactions between HIV/AIDS and A(H1N1) influenza could be significant,". There you have it, they don't know what's going to happen, but you bet your ass something might. Stop trying to fucking scare everyone. Any thinking individual knows that people with compromised immune systems are at higher risk of getting sick, and until you know for sure (and can provide significant proof) that the two viruses pose a serious risk of combining, shut the fuck up about it. It's a non story. You don't open your paper every day to stories warning you that because human beings have to breathe to continue living, they are really going to be in dutch if they're under water for a few hours, and that even though there is no evidence to suggest such a thing might happen, if a Seagull and a Bear procreate to form a new flying man eater, you better watch your ass when you're at the beach. In short, don't expect Pig AIDS anytime soon, and if you're unfortunate enough to have been infected with HIV, you're more likely to get swine flu than is the health nut behind the counter at Whole Foods. You must be feeling better now.

Now, on to the shocking report about the First Shoes. That's just the beginning, the awed reader later finds out that Mrs. Obama owns pumps that often cost more than $1,500 and tops that go anywhere from $400 to $1,000. You're shitting me right? The wife of the most powerful man in the free world is well-off enough to afford such lavish clothing? Who is surprised by this? Who actually gives a fuck? I love the response from Michelle's rep, he simply said, 'They're shoes'. The only problem I have with her exorbitant spending on clothing is that she is still among the worst dressed people I've seen. Her only sin is that she has all this money to spend on her wardrobe and she chooses garb that couldn't be less flattering if she were wearing her husband's suits. The particular tennis shoes in question seem to have been acquired from the Ellen DeGeneres line at Macy's. I half expected to see Portia de Rossi come on stage and plant a big wet one on the First Lady (and admit it, it would be way hotter than anything that old bat Eleanor Roosevelt ever did). In short, leave the First Lady alone. As long as she is out spending her husband's money she can't whisper policy ideas into his big ears.

All of these things are non stories. Tell me about possible Obama Supreme Court nominations. Tell me about the economy, the war or the fucking weather. Just leave out bullshit about what those wacky commies in China are doing, how susceptible immune-compromised individuals are to diseases attacking the immune system or what some rich broad is paying for footwear. If you want to scare me, at least report things that should legitimately scare me.

Well, I hope you're all feeling a bit better. I'm going to drink excessively and watch sports. I'll check in again when something else pisses me off.